…Because I still need some practice at this, I guess.
The long, slow slide into summer stability was slower than anticipated this year. I’m just now feeling like I’ve got my “sea legs” so to speak with having the kids home, and June is nearly over. The grey fog that I now recognize as the cyclical depression I get from time to time set in around the time school was over, for me. I’ve felt very much like I’ve been wandering around aimlessly, without a purpose, when it started looking like my one semester of continued higher education was all that was wise to attempt at this point, mainly for financial reasons. I refuse to go into debt to fund an education for myself. Yes, that makes me weird, but it also makes me less broke and with more options than I would if I were carrying a B.A. degree and 5,000 dollars of debt two or three years from now.
So, now what? I’ve learned from experience that three things are my tools at hand when I start to feel that grey fog rolling in. First, daily, intentional prayer and focused devotional time (something that I think most Christ-followers occasionally struggle with. It’s like going to a party where you don’t know many people –you don’t want to go at first, but once you get there, it’s always worth going). Number two is a detailed to-do list. When I feel that fog rolling in, it’s usually about the time I lose interest in doing anything productive, and my home and responsibilities suffer in short order if I don’t just do what I know I need to do, whether I want to or not. The little thrill of being able to cross something off a to-do list is just the upper I need some days. Just do the next thing. Number three? Coffee. Don’t laugh –it’s scientifically proven (and a lot cheaper and probably easier on the system than SSRI’s*).
So, that’s how I’m coping these days, until I sort out what might be the Next Thing I’m supposed to be doing, speaking in kingdom terms. Not that the little things don’t matter, but I sometimes get a little lost-feeling when I hit a turn on the map that I wasn’t expecting. For now, I suppose I should be using more of my “free time” to blog. Excuse me while I cross that off my list for today, will you?
Where I got the “do the next thing” concept: http://www.backtothebible.org/index.php/Gateway-to-Joy/Do-the-Next-Thing.html –credit where credit is due and all that… :). If you’re a mom of littles, or once were, this might resonate some.
*I’m not a doctor, and have some first-hand experience with depression meds. Listen to your doctor on that one, before you listen to little old me. For me, a little caffeine provides the jump-start I need. Your needs may vary, of course.