Blah. [Commencing whine. You’ve been warned.]
Would that this winter would become summer or just be winter already. I’m tired of it and want it to just go away. Anyway, the day didn’t start out all that well, precipitated by a cascade of unmet expectations via my kids and their teachers. First off, it apparently is obvious to everyone but THIS mom that in the case of slushy playgrounds, snow boots don’t cut it. Ya need rain boots. Oh-kay. Noted. Then, I get presented at about T – minus two minutes until we’re Officially Late with the spelling test that my son bombed (did I mention it was his MAKEUP spelling test because he MISSED FRIDAY because he was DEATHLY ILL?!?), due to the fact that he didn’t practice. In teacher-to-first-grade-mother-speak, that’s a swipe at ME, of course, the one who is solely responsible for getting him to practice those words. Thanks. I feel so much less worthwhile as a human being. You have informed me, in your blue-marker missive, dear teacher, that my son will be relegated to those unfortunate individuals destined to rely on spell-check, and will forever mistake words like lose and loose and you’re and your because the artificial intelligence hasn’t advanced that far. Sigh.
And, just to rock this post a little more Alexander-style (yo!), my daughter not so gently reminded me via her ascerbic sass this morning (isn’t this sassy phase supposed to start at fourteen, NOT eleven?!?) that I believe the computer is more important than anything else, and perhaps that was the cause of my bad day. Usually that sort of comment would earn her a strong admonition to watch her tongue and/or a sing-songy “I love you, TOOOOO!” Today, it nearly earned her a walk to the bus stop in the cold. Or an ice cream cone with the ice cream part landed firmly in Australia. ..Did I mention I’m moving to Australia? Oh, wait. That’s right. They have days like this there, too. Well, then, can I move to Canada?
Or, maybe, I’ll just take off my excrement-encrusted glasses, wipe ’em off, and start all over again. Because some days ARE like that, even in Minnesota. But I still refuse to believe they exist in Canada.