I was thinking on the way home tonight how it wasn’t an accident that Elanor had a trip to the dentist yesterday. It wasn’t the routine easy variety, either –she had a cavity to be filled and a tooth to be pulled. In one visit. Not fun.
I tried to balance the information, knowing what she’d be up against, and also her tendencies to use whatever information she has to paint out an extreme worst case scenario (…can’t imagine where she got that from). She’s a little like Eeyore. She loves to be worried or concerned about something. So, I answered her questions honestly and briefly, and didn’t say much else about it. …Well, the time came when she had to have the shot, and I knew things weren’t going to go well after that point. She, predictably, was very upset, but she did stay in the chair, and I moved to be next to her to physically reassure her that I knew what she was going through, and I wasn’t going anywhere.
It was on the way home that I realized that that’s kind of like where God was yesterday, and lots of times in the last two years. When things get tough, he moves closer, only I’m usually so sucked into the vortex of my own suffering and panic that I’m oblivious to it. So, I don’t notice him. But, when it’s over, I see Him there and realize He was there all along. …Kind of like Elanor yesterday. After she had endured the dental work, she saw me there and we left together. She was still upset, but I think she was glad that I was there with her. She’s never known otherwise. I’ve never left her in a time that I knew she’d need me.
And God was there yesterday, not as Lucy holding the football, but sitting by my side in the dentist chair. Just like I knew that I had to help Elanor stay in that chair and get the dental work done so she could stay healthy and avoid worse pain, God knows what’s going on with us, and though we don’t know what the reason is now, I think I’m more ready to trust that with my relative ignorance, I should just accept it and stop fighting.
-Sam got a long-term temp job today that has promise of being even better than the job he lost yesterday, and the biggest bonus is that it’s a day job. No more missing out on church stuff or not being able to go out in the evenings. That will help the stress level a lot around here, I think. So, that’s the update for now.