I had the first totally really good day I’ve had in I don’t know how long. Took the kids out this morning to the local coffee place in Cedar Grove. They’ve got a little story-time thing mid-morning, and Sam’s working on this huge mammoth surprise redecorating project for the girls (it involves lots of cardboard, paint, and a glue gun… that’s about all I remember so far), so getting the kids out of the house was kind of a good thing for Sam. Besides, since he works from 3 to midnight or so, he doesn’t get much time around the house without kids, so this gives him some time to do stuff. So, we went, and the kids had fun eating cookies. I picked out a chocolate chip one for Corwin (hoping it didn’t have walnuts, although Corwin likes them, I’ve discovered… I’m such a bad mom. He’s not even two yet.) and a “monster cookie” for Amaryah, which she confirmed was a good choice (“I like M&M’s mom!”). We sat for a couple minutes, and the kids bopped around the room waiting for the Story Lady, playing with the toys they have in the corner. They did a reasonable job of listening (there were a couple other kids, but them and us were it for the morning, so it was a small crowd today), and managed to stay pretty much where the other boy and girl could see the pictures. After that, we went home and got lunch together, and after lunch, I took Elanor with me to the Good As New (for the unenlightened, that’s the thrift store that benefits Christian High) and took advantage of the bag sale. I managed to get about a whole basic wardrobe for Corwin for next winter, a pair of boots for me, and a couple shirts and a sweater for Elanor. Not bad for one bag. So, it was a good day.
But, after nap time a couple things went weird. Elanor is having a hard time with having to do the Christmas program next week. She’s always had stage fright and is getting used to dealing with it, but she’s seriously stressed out over this. I brought up what she’d wear (they are doing white shirts with black skirts/pants), and she about had a meltdown. It didn’t take long to figure out the whole thing was about more than clothes. I even offered to make her a new skirt from some black velvet material I had around, and even that didn’t improve her outlook on things. We’re still working through it. Hopefully I can talk with her teacher tomorrow and get some advice or wisdom or enlightenment or something. I hate seeing her this upset about anything, and she’s been really moody lately –I’m wondering now if this is the culprit issue. At least Elanor knows I know what’s going on and I understand how hard this is on her. Poor girl.
I finally found the Playmobil nativity set (it’s the same one as you guys have, Karen!) in the garage this afternoon, and we have our pathetic little tabletop tree up now –I decorated it myself while the kids were finishing dinner. I decided my nerves were shot from being up several times with Corwin last night (he wound up in bed with us again, despite my best efforts –by 4 a.m. it was abundantly clear that that was the only way we were going to get some rest). I’m not sure if it’s residual effects from the cold he’s been dealing with or just separation anxiety. The night before he slept fine… Hopefully tonight is better. Sam is short on sleep anyway. He winds up having to get up around 8:30 to watch the two littles while I take Elanor to school, and he usually goes to bed around 2 a.m., so he’s pretty wiped out by Friday. He gets naps here and there, but it’s not the same thing as 7 hours continuous (ask any mom, she’ll tell you…).
Amaryah’s birthday is fast approaching. We’re working on what to do for her. So far the plan is a trip to the Childrens’ Museum in Sheboygan. Sam’ll be tutoring down the street that afternoon, so he’ll spend some time with all of us, go do his thing while the kids and I stay a little longer, then we’ll probably all go for ice cream or something. Oostburg Christian preschool is now taking kids who just turned 4 by January. That would mean it would be possible for us to put Amaryah in preschool in January and Kindergarten in the fall (at age 4 1/2). Wow. We’re not going to do it, but it is kind of a nice thought (and a sad one) that in just a year or two, I’ll have two in school already. I’m still in the middle of the “I will never have a moment to myself ever again” phase. You know, the one that feels like the kids will be at home forever… I’ve been advised that this phase is shorter once you’re on the other side of it. All I want to know is what it feels like to do something (even clipping my toenails) from start to finish without having to stop and avert a disaster or another child-induced interruption.
Corwin is 21 months already and I am really not feeling that “another one would be nice” feeling at all. Not even a biological twinge around newborns. I just see one and think, “how cute!” get a small resistable urge to bury my nose in its hair and take a long breath, and then remember how not fun it is to live for months at a time on four hours of sleep. So, maybe we are done. I think I’m okay with that. It’s just strange to not have that 18 month postpartum baby urge thing. I’ve almost come to expect it since Elanor was around that age and we, surprisingly to me, began thinking about our second baby. I really figured I wouldn’t feel ready until she was at least three or four. Now I realize that feeling ready and being ready are two totally different things, and “being ready” is basically a myth. Being willing is more the idea. Ready never happens. Children are too unpredictable for the realm of “being ready.”
Speaking of ready, I think I’m about ready for bed. Time to get some sleep in –in case we have another rough night. Tomorrow is another day, after all.